Being a long distance Sitti and Mom...

I recently returned from a quick and dirty fun-filled trip to Nashville to see Peter, Brianna and my two precious grandsons- Bear and Boe. It had been a while, so this Sitti (Arabic for Grandmother) was itching to get as many hugs and kisses in as possible during the visit.

I am filled with thoughtful reflection about my five days on the floor, climbing in and out of playground tunnels and zooming down slides, sorting through legos and trucks, jumping on pillows, bending down to help little hands drive little vehicles, playing Uno and Candyland, practicing reading and making silly words out of vowels and consonants and loving every head bang and diaper change while simultaneously singing “I’m being swallowed by a boa constrictor” over and over again.

I won’t lie..

This 65 year old body was ready for a quiet four and a half hour flight home in an aisle seat with my glass of water and bag of pretzels.

It’s challenging being a long distance Sitti. You have to pile all the love, presents, angst and intention into a multi-day window of concentrated and intense togetherness that is probably better budgeted out into smaller and more absorbable portions. But it’s the best we can do with the 2000 plus mile distance between us. I find myself yearning to hear things like “Mom, can you pick Boe up from school today” or “Hey mom, can you babysit this Saturday night?”

Love Is Stronger Than Death- Song of Solomon 8:6

This is a portion of my extended family gathered at Holy Sepulchre Cemetery to celebrate my step mother Adele Pearl Shaheen’s 100 years of life and love. My siblings, their spouses, their children and their children’s children.  We are a force to be reckoned with. Adele inherited us when she married my dad half a century ago. She took it in good stride considering that she didn’t have her own children. Fully bathed and baptized into instant family, she never complained.

My siblings and I were raised Catholic but we were quick to decide that no priest could give Adele a better send off than we could on our own. Lord have mercy! Since most of us had not been to this cemetery in years- not since our brother, our mother and our father were buried- we decided to make this a pilgrimage of sorts.

My mother in law, Louise Healy 🙏

I am writing this on the cusp of the first anniversary of my mother in law’s passing. This picture was taken in our back yard in Whittier, California on Mother’s Day. I’m going to guess that I was 35ish and she was 68ish. My own mother had died five years prior so the two of us were the guests of honor on this day. She came over looking glamorous and rested and I wrestled three little boys all week, grocery shopped, cleaned the house and made an exquisite brunch for all of us. I’m not quite sure I liked her in this picture but this well bred obedient Catholic school girl respected her and honored her on this special day.

The definition of mother-in-law in the Merriam-Webster dictionary is as follows: The mother of someone’s husband or wife. (No mystery here…) But when I scrolled down on the page there was a question! “What made you want to look up mother-in-law?”

Be careful what you wish for...

I’ve had this bumper sticker posted on my electrical box for a couple years now. New stainless steel refrigerators are no longer magnetized, sadly. It’s been a motto for me in my personal life and in my work life as well. I have one on the door of my office for students to see when they come for appointments. But no one has seen this message this year.

This year has been different. Is this what I was longing for? Not exactly..

I’m planning a small get together for my son’s 40th birthday and I’m totally out of my wheel house! I don’t know how to entertain more than three people at a time anymore and the thought of it overwhelms me. Life has become so simple and slow with the onset of Covid19 and a world pandemic.