Christmas Gifts... A Legacy of Love

I love the beautiful Christmas song “Mary Did You Know?”  It talks about how Mary came to discover that she had birthed the savior of the world.  Despite her elite appointment as the mother of Jesus, she had to go through what every mother has had to go through.  The months of carrying a child.  The pain of labor.  The miracle of birth.  The daily care and feeding of an infant.  The watching and the worrying and wondering if she’d done this whole parenting thing right or if she could have done it differently or better.

I never quite experienced what love was until I had my first born son.  I remember feeling like a co-creator with God.  I thought I had earned an academy award or at least a thunderous round of applause.  It was such a magnificent feat yet so ordinary really.  Women do it every day.

Christmas Gifts... Graced Moments

 

On Christmas morning my sons and Brianna wrenched me out of the kitchen in order to take a walk with the pups. I was torn- feeling like I had so much to do before the 16 guests came for Christmas dinner at 4pm. Then I stopped and asked myself. What is the important thing right now? 

Christmas Gifts... Try Trust

Madeleine and Isabella

These are my two beautiful great nieces at our annual Shaheen family Christmas party. Can you see the anticipation in their eyes as they wait for one of the grown ups to holler “Time to open presents!”

Do you remember those days? You know… when Christmas was all done for you and all you had to do was wake up and be surprised?  And you knew that your mom and dad would get you dressed and make sure you had good healthy food to eat.  They protected you and nurtured you and if life rolled out the way it was supposed to and you were very lucky you developed this thing called TRUST.

We trust the mailman to come. We trust that Nob Hill will have fresh turkeys the day before Christmas.  We trust that a good friend will be there for us.

Christmas Gifts... Let Peace Prevail

Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me…

Do you remember this song? I sang it quite a bit when I was a teenager; however I didn’t really think much about what it meant back then. But as I think about the words today a light bulb goes on for me.

We seem to project into the world whatever is going on inside of us. If we feel disorganized, the world is chaotic. If we feel anxious, the world is a scary place. How can we have peace on earth if we do not have our own personal peace of mind?

When I was in high school I attended a YMCA camp every summer called Camp Fox. Those were formative years for me and my experiences at this camp made a deep impact on my life. It’s been more than 30 years and I still remember the following campfire story.

Christmas Gifts... Foster Fortitude

 

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!

Fortitude is defined by Merriam-Webster Dictionary as a strength of mind that enables a person to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with courage.

Dictionary.com defines it as guts.

Backbone, boldness, bravery, courage, determination, endurance, fearlessness, grit, perseverance, pluck, pith, spunk, stamina, tenacity… (Don’t you love that word, pluck! It makes you want to have it!)

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Oh Lordy…

Christmas Gifts.. Hang on to Hope!

Hope is the feeling that what you want can be had or that things will turn out the way you’d like them to.

Hoping is a daily activity. I hope therefore I am.

I hope he’ll call. I hope they are safe. I hope the chemotherapy works. I hope the turkey comes out juicy. I hope today is better than yesterday. I hope there is not a run in my tights. I hope I find my keys. I hope they can can come for Christmas. I hope I find a job soon.

I hope my car starts. I hope he gets home on time. I hope she feels better. I hope it doesn’t rain. I hope she has a good trip. I hope I have enough time. I hope it’s not too late. I hope we can make it. I hope you will forgive me. I hope I get a raise. I hope I can find the perfect gift. I hope she feels better.

Christmas Gifts.. Jump into Joy!

Watch Patrick on YouTubewatch?v=YJH65jLvmv0

This is my son, Patrick, at our annual day after Thanksgiving Karaoke night at El Toro Brewery in Morgan Hill.

Talk about JOY!

Joy is having your family together for the holidays and making it user friendly by doing some of the activities that THEY like to do! This annual Karaoke night has become a real crowd pleaser and is a great way to launch the holiday season for the Healy family. Being that it’s Thanksgiving weekend, my sons have friends home from far and wide who come and reconnect with them over good beer and great entertainment. Us “grown-ups” come along for the JOY! (And sometimes we can be coerced to get up and sing… oh somebody twist my arm!)

What would you like for Christmas?

Madonna and Child

I’ve always thought of the Christmas holiday preparation and grand finale similar to taking up an additional part time job in December. The question ofwhat would I like for Christmas seems to be the last thing on my mind. I’m thinking more in terms of how the heck I’m going to get my Christmas shopping, decorating, and baking done with the final push being the full sit down dinner with turkey and clean sparkling glassware. All the while showing up for my full time job and being a positive presence for students who are stressed out studying for finals! (Well.. at least I don’t have 7 finals to study for!)

I am thankful...

Shaheen Christmas 2009

 

Remembering Mom

I love this picture of my mom holding my son Robert when he was 3 months old. That joy you see in her expression and the contentment in little Robert’s face says it all.

Dorothy, Dottie, Dot, Auntie Dot, Sittie, Mom… She answered to many names whenever and whomever called and needed her warmth and generous love, her comforting down home cooking or just her calm presence and her sensible outlook on life.

25 years ago today my mom left us for what we fantasize as a “better place”. 25 years ago her five sons sat around her bed in her home and waited with her for the angels to come. I got the call at 3am, having gone home to nurse a hungry baby- my mom would have wanted me to do that.

As a Man Thinketh in his Heart...

...so is he. These are the words of James Allen.

I inherited this little book of wisdom from my father. As you can see he felt comfortable enough to scrawl his name across the front of it... Edmund F. Shaheen. I suppose that was his stamp of approval or perhaps his round of applause after reading and digesting its life changing content. With that endorsement, I decided to read it myself.

Having grown up with these concepts spoon fed to me, I was somewhat cocky in my approach. Oh... I felt I knew it all, had heard it all, and there was nothing new under the sun. However, I was in for quite a personal challenge. With pen in hand I enthusiastically underlined my own favorite phrases and scratched my own personal notes in the margins.

My Dad.. The Eternal Optimist

My father always said that he had missed his calling. He fancied himself a renowned psychologist existing inside the body of a real estate investor. He was a follower of Timothy Leary in the fifties, practiced Silva Mind Control and psycho-cybernetics in the sixties and seventies and was a charter member of Optimist International. When I was a teenager he bought me books to read with titles such as You Are Not The Target by Laura Archera Huxley and The 7 Day Mental Diet by Emmet Fox. I grew up knowing what an "affirmation" was and had several taped to my bathroom mirror.

When I was first married my dad mentioned to my new husband that he was planning on purchasing the latest model Cadillac and in the meantime had placed a picture of it on the refrigerator where he could see it every day and visualize himself driving it. This gained him quite the reputation with my very conservative Irish Catholic in-laws.

What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine also!

I went foraging today for greenery, pods and other accoutrements of fall in order to decorate my front door wreath and herald in the new season. Off I went up Llagas Ave with my hand pruners and a recycled Safeway grocery bag under my arm. Today's booty included pale pepper tree berries (they will be bright red by December and worth another trip up the hill for Christmas decorating), fragrant eucalyptus with flowers intact, almonds still encased in their protective hull, wild pomegranates (oh they pruned back my favorite bushes so they are scarce this year) and some unidentified tree pods.

I am writing this post at the urging of my middle son, Patrick, who has endured patiently his mother's habit of petty theft, all with good intentions of thoroughly enjoying God's beautiful earth. I learned how to do this very early in life (along with a few WWII marching songs) while walking with my dad for exercise. My dad always said that if it hangs over the fence onto the sidewalk it's yours! That includes apples, kumquats, avocados, almonds, olives and any kind of greenery that might look good on your fireplace mantel.

Diva to the World

 

I celebrated my birthday on Thursday and am now another year older and a wee bit wiser. Several years ago I received a birthday card from a wonderful friend that had a similar picture to this one on the outside and on the inside it said “Diva to the World”. I loved that card and practically tore my bedroom apart last night looking for it but to no avail.

When a woman gets to a certain age birthdays take on a whole new meaning. I am in no way a “Diva to the World” but I can appreciate that it is a goal to strive for when outward beauty wanes and inside wisdom takes precedence. There is certainly a profound moment when a woman realizes that this transition has occurred.

A Leap of Faith

Not your traditional slab of cattle on a plate…

This Labor Day BBQ included seared Ahi tuna, mixed brown rice and roasted eggplant to begin the journey into fall and celebrate the change of weather and all things new.

I attended the International Association of Yoga Therapy Symposium in Pacific Grove Friday through Sunday and am now inspired to practice pranayama breathing, a daily mantra, meditation, positive thoughts and healthy eating. A perfect transition into a new season as well as a fitting attitude adjustment for the new academic year.

I hadn't planned on taking this picture of dinner, but it just looked so lovely on the plate and I was "in the moment" seeing it in all its' beauty, colorfulness and nutritional value. How often do we stop and appreciate something so basic? A plate of wholesome food in my funky backyard in the awesome Indian summer weather.

They came, they danced, they dined and they sang, they laughed and they loved and they left better women.... The Divas!

What could 12 random women in their double nickel year- who went to high school together 37 years ago- possibly have in common? To be honest… not a whole lot. But get a conversation going about Mr. Terry and his Driver’s Ed class or blast Michael Jackson’s “Billy Jean” on the iPod and watch them reduced to a dozen silly hormonal- braces on my teeth and pimpled- 14 year old girls!

The Divas are coming! The Divas are coming!

New friends I treasure and cherish their worth

but old friends to me are the salt of the earth.

~author unknown

Divas far and wide gather every year to celebrate another year of friendship. Our common denominator being that we are all graduates of Anaheim High School in the year of Minnie Riperton, the Watergate Scandal, Kojak, The Exorcist, the gas shortage, Linda Ronstadt, and the Volkswagen Super Beetle.

I <3 YOGA! 20 things I've learned from my YOGA practice...

I know 20 things is a bit much for the SEO rules. Oh! You don’t know what SEO is? Search engine optimization. Blogging experts suggest writing about 7 to 10 items. Odd numbers are better. Perhaps I will stop at 19? Would that please the SEO gods? Do I really need to please them?

My mat, water bottle and yoga bag (a Christmas gift from my son Peter’s thoughtful girlfriend, Breezy) create a poignant still life in the back of my Mini. Add recycled bags for Trader Joe’s and life is good.

Yes.. life is good. And yoga makes it that much better!

Here are some of the things that I have gleaned from my yoga practice:

My Garden/Myself

The rotting trellis groaning under the weight of the wisteria. Bricks buckling and relinquishing control to healthy roots tapping deeply into dark recesses of nourishing loam. Flowers willy nilly competing for sun, space and attention. Prolific roses growing out of control, energy unharnessed.

My garden is a perfect reflection of the imperfect me.

Food Is Love, Chapter Three... (finally!)

There are actually two very important uses for a refrigerator. One is to hold food within and keep it at a tidy temperature. The other is to have a very “untidy” display without- scraps of paper bearing important correspondence, favorite pictures of the people we love, magnets from places we’ve been to and magnets that keep us apprised of our plumber, dentist and chiropractor’s current whereabouts as well as the recycling schedule for Whittier, California- three houses and two states ago.

Women of Substance

Those of you who are cradle Catholics like I am know exactly what is happening in this picture. You might even be humming to yourself the familiar tune from the Stations of the Cross.

Every Friday during Lent at St. Philip Neri Parish in Lynwood, California- grades one through eight- we attended this ritual which reenacts the journey to Calvary where Jesus was crucified on Good Friday.  Along this path Jesus meets Veronica.

Just recently on Facebook a friend of mine posted in exasperation: “I’m looking for one strong female role model!  Come on! I know you are out there!”  She received 52 comments.

The thread went something like this:

Food Is Love. Chapter 2. Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Refrigerator

Life has gotten in the way of my three chapter "Food Is Love" dissertation. My apologies and a confession.. I am easily distracted. We can talk about adult ADD another time. :)

This morning I dug through my old photos looking for this picture. I know that Patrick is just adorable at one year old but what I really want you to see is my brown "earth-tone" refrigerator circa 1970-80! Notice the stuff on top of it also. I can guarantee you that it was "stuffed" inside as well. Just look at little Patrick. Does he look like an underfed child?

A couple weeks ago I was invited to a brunch at a friend’s house and I was riveted by their large and fancy two door side by side refrigerator with the water/ice component in the door. I opened it to look inside and it was chock full of food. I have fantasized about that refrigerator since then.

Lucy My Love...

Ethel and Lucy play in the garden.

Mornings are my favorite time of day. I love to get up and open my bedroom door to see my two hungry kitties waiting for me. We go downstairs together- being careful not to get entangled in each others’ legs and paws. Lucy and Ethel wait patiently while I make my coffee and as soon as I flip the switch the meowing begins. I walk the familiar walk to the cupboard and get the can of food out. I wash their bowls and divide the chow, placing it on the floor with fresh water, all the while chatting with them about what good and patient girls they are. I find this little ritual so comforting in the morning. Kitties and coffee. A new day and a new beginning.

Food is Love in three chapters...

The problem with blogging is not what to write but rather which thing to write about! I was searching for a recipe last weekend and the result was this “still life”. I said to myself.. now THAT would make a good blog post! My intention was to write about the cookbooks but then I thought perhaps you’d like to hear about my refrigerator adventures or the decoupage of photos on the freezer door. Oh the dilemmas of a blogger…

Thus.. the three chapter essay.

Lord have mercy!

So there seems to be some kind of mistake?  Who planned a meatless Lenten Friday to follow a green beered boiled dinner of succulent corned beef and cabbage?  What are we supposed to do with those left overs today?  One would think that God and St. Patrick would work this placement of holidays and fast days out while they are leisurely sitting around in heaven shooting the bull.

And here lies the dilemma…  Last week I made a meatloaf on Thursday and couldn’t eat the left overs on Friday.  In the faculty room at Presentation High School we had a discussion about what is worse.  Eating the meat on Friday in order to not be wasteful or throwing it out and breaking out the good ol’ frozen fish sticks- reminiscent of our Catholic growing up years? Which is the bigger sin?

"You are dust and unto dust you shall return"

We are well into Lent- the Catholic season of 40 days and 40 nights before Jesus is raised from the dead on Easter Sunday. This picture was taken on Ash Wednesday when we celebrated Mass as a school community and learned some important lessons about what it means to be generous and to have gratitude. But mostly we took away foreheads full of ashes in remembrance of our physical bodies having their origin and their destiny in dirt.  You heard me.  Dirt.

Such disparity in this photo!  These young women, so young and beautiful with their bright smiles and hope for the future; their willingness to learn and grow and connect with life!  Their hopeful faces smudged with ashes…

Honey, these are the best years of your life!

Peter, Robert, and Patrick

It is a lazy afternoon in Whittier, California and I am across the street on Tedemory Drive visiting with my neighbor, Mrs. Jenner.  She has successfully raised her two sons to responsible adulthood.  I stand with my right hip jutting out in a heralding of chiropractic visits yet to come- balancing chubby Peter. Patrick is clenched on to my right thigh and out of my peripheral vision I focus on Robert scaling a nearby tree.

“Oh Honey!  Treasure this time!  These are the best years of your life!”  my dear neighbor advises.  I’m sure I looked at her as though she had four eyes.  I was a tired, overworked young mom with half read books and have baked friendships.  I couldn’t seem to focus on anything in those days besides watching little boys for hours and hours on end.  I was thinking more along the lines of “These are the days that try men’s souls!”

You shoot from the hip, Rosemarie! That's what gets you in trouble!

There’s no way to begin except to just do it. For a woman who is never speechless I seem to be unable to get going on this blog thing. So here goes nothing!

I am a straight shooter. My son, Patrick, likes to remind me to “filter, mom”.  I know. Sometimes my thoughts sneak out of my mouth without due diligence to my frontal lobes. My boss at Presentation told me in a recent meeting that I shoot from the hip and that’s what gets me in trouble.  I immediately thought (but held my mouth closed) “Which hip, Mary?  My real one or my ceramic one?”  Had she forgotten that I had my right hip replaced this last summer? The irony (and the humor!) of her comment was not lost on me.

On that note, people have been asking me “Aren’t you a little young to be getting a new hip?” and “How long will that new hip last?” My thoughts… how long does anything last?  What warranties do we have on a breast or an eye or a lung?

I’d rather focus on living life and finding some mischief!  I hope you will join me.