Saturday, May 16, 2015

Betwixt and Between

I ran into the Morgan Hill Safeway last week to pick up some groceries and a woman stopped me in the frozen food section. I had dashed back to that aisle to pick up some blueberries and was pretty much done with my shopping.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure” I said, thinking she wanted to know where to find the cat food or to inquire about a good hamburger place in town.

“Do you have a blog? One Hip Diva?”

Stunned, I replied “Yes”. I had never seen this woman before and clearly she had only seen my picture.

“Where did you go? In your last entry you were moving out of your house.”

I had to think for a minute. Where did I go?

I am betwixt and between. At a midway point. Neither here nor there. Most of my “things” are in a storage unit somewhere in Morgan Hill. There is stuff in Dale’s garage and extra bedroom. Random objects are at my work in my office.

And I am in a liminal space until my new townhouse is completed in July.

I don’t usually do well with this sort of thing. I am a planner, a plodder, a tidy woman who likes to keep things in order. But for some reason I am unexpectedly calm. This liminal space is defined by Richard Rohr, the Franciscan priest who says that Everything Belongs.

It is when you have left the tried and true, but have not yet been able to replace it with anything else. It is when you are finally out of the way. It is when you are between your old comfort zone and any possible new answer. If you are not trained in how to hold anxiety, how to live with ambiguity, how to entrust and wait, you will run…anything to flee this terrible cloud of unknowing.

Indeed. It is very unlike me to not want to flee! But in the betwixt and between there is time to unwind and discover who I am without all the accoutrements and props I’ve accumulated throughout the years. I’m waiting in the threshold for what’s next. It’s a creative space that begs to be explored. I’ve gotten out of my own way. I’ve let go, moved on, leaped, unhooked and trusted.

How do I explain all this to a woman I don’t even know, yet who knows me pretty intimately through my writing? Her name is Jill and if I hadn’t gone back to the frozen food section to pick up just one more thing I would never have met her.

Hello, Jill. And thank you.

10 Responses

  1. The timing of this blog is perfect, I feel a shift…a leap…a big unhooking coming on, in my oh so blissful world. I will remember to hang tough if the “terrible cloud” comes my way. Much love and always go back in the store if you forgot something…never know what you might miss.

    • Elizabeth, we are in this together! The shift! The leap! Excited for you and all you’re embracing ahead. I looooooooove your advice to always go back to the store if you forget something!! So true. You just never know. Love back to you!

  2. I have a storage unit too, but unlike you I am neither betwixt or between – I think I might just be a hoarder, or at least that’s what my kids think. Enjoy your time getting ready for all that is to come, my dear friend.

    • Rosemary, Aren’t Dave’s books in there too? Can you go visit it? My storage is unvisitable until I ask for it all back. I don’t even know where it is!! The guy seemed fairly honest. I suppose I should have asked more questions. That’s always the case for me. I don’t think you’re a hoarder. You are a “keeper of things”. Miss you my friend. Let’s try for lunch soon!

  3. Nice view Rosemarie – thanks for the offering. That liminal place is full of openness and possibilities. It’s exciting. I feel it too this year. Maybe turning 60 brings that forward tooĆ¢€¦. the next phase :)

    • Patti, I agree. Get a degree. Check. Buy a house. Check. Have a family. Check. Raise a family. Check. What’s next? Something equally as exciting and creative one would hope! I’m ready!

  4. The unfastened space between tumultuous chaos and ordered dimension invites panoramic discovery of the self. Enjoy the journey, Rosemarie! Emptiness leads to fullness; maelstrom advances calm; bewilderment opens to clarity. The possibilities are endless. You are engaged in measured motion as sure as that of your amazing bicycle rides and you will feel equally exhilarated when you reach your destination. I really think the older we get, the more open we become to loosing the fetters, releasing the constraints, and putting the pedal to the metal in exploration of the open road. Pilgrimage to the center of self. Votive purpose. Unitive. All that has gone before, all that is, and all that will be makes sense. Outward clutter? Doesn’t matter because inner peace fills every crevice, crack, and cleft in the fragile walls of our identity. New life! Change! Growth! We don’t need Home Depot; we have the grace and love of God. He has brought us to Himself in the best possible way! Having said all this, Rich and I look forward to visiting you in the next year or two and catching up with you. We’re planning a road trip! Uh-oh, chaos!

    • Kathy, what I didn’t say in this post was how I feel God’s Grace has been with me. I honestly do not move well or do well with this type of transition. The peace I feel is Grace. I get impatient sometimes with this process but then I get myself centered again and look at the fruit of the journey. There are little affirmations all along the path. I was thinking, also, that it’s been years and years since I’ve been without major responsibilities- a house, children, etc. Still going to work but it keeps me afloat in many ways. But even that will end for the summer in May. Road trip coming through Morgan Hill? I’d love to see you! Thank you for your friendship!

  5. Lovely, elegantly simple, and timely post. I’m putting the quote from Richard Rohr on my wall, I’m a bit betwixt and between myself these days. Thanks for this gift.

    • Hi Ed. Good to know I’m not alone in this. Truly. Wonder how I could capture this support? Do people still do chat rooms? A book club with this as the theme? Thank you for you kind words.

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